Currently reinventing reality...

A bit of bad news…

I woke up this morning not being able to talk, not out of a cold or anything, it’s from nerve damage from an injury in the past. I was warned this might happen ,and to go to the hospital if it did, just to make sure it’s not anything that serious. I hope it’s not, but you never know. My appointment is the next hour so I might be offline for awhile.

Part of the reason I lose my ability to talk is also due to psychological reasons and lately I’ve been stressed out. A day ago I thought maybe going to a livestream would cheer me up, because I usually have a lot of fun in those, but I noticed it came back mid-way during a chat, I started being a bitch so I just logged out to avoid ruining everyone’s day. I still need to apologize to them, there was no reason for me to be that insensitive. If it continues, I’m just not going to go anymore because it’s not fair to other people who are there to have a good time.

And this just proves again that she was right, no one cares about my opinions, feelings or emotions. I understand now why she got so upset with me, because all those things were slowing me down, things were not getting done and people started to hate me. Those things were not important, and only now do I realize this. I need to stop being a selfish brat and think about other people before I open my damn mouth. Better yet just shut up. That way everyone can be happy.

Okay, now I know the problem. It’s me. I see it clearer and I need to remember this in the future to avoid those kind of incidents again. This makes me wonder if I should even go to the hospital at all, this could be an improvement. It’s not too late to cancel the appointment.